Although this blog is typically me talking about beauty at a superficial surface, in the face of my current life I think it is important to share that what you look like is not going to solve problems or change who you are.
This is my story, of struggle and of hope and hopefully encouragement.
Most of the time I find myself thinking that if I look good, I feel good. If I’m pretty enough people will like me more, agree with me more, support me, love me. But idolising these things makes you empty and can be detrimental to your health.
I have been suffering from depression and anxiety from the beginning of this year. It left me feeling like I was worthless, that no one would miss me if I was gone, unattractive, unloveable, antisocial, uncertain, helpless and lonely.
I was crippled by how I was feeling. I stopped going to the gym, I avoided seeing a lot of my friends, I stopped caring about uni, I was exhausted but oversleeping, I had days where I would cry for a constant period of time, up to an hour or so maybe more, maybe a few times a day. I didn’t see a future. I questioned God, why am I suffering so deeply. Why am I feeling this way?
This was a shock, to me, and to others around me. And took me a long time to be able to really talk about it to those outside of my immediate surroundings. I am usually a super happy, really bubbly, social, friendly, girl. I usually enjoy learning, loved church, my friends and doing things for others.
I was so lucky I had amazing and loving friends around me who supported me the best they could in this time, I can never be more thankful to God than I am for them.
However even with this love and support, It got to a point where I was just so depressed, I couldn’t go to uni. I couldn’t care about anything or anyone and I needed to come home and be loved and cared for in a safe environment by my family. So I did. I got help and I am getting better. I have my up days and down days, at the moment I haven’t been heaps great but it will pass.
I started this blog as somewhat an outlet, a distraction. For fun and for a hobby. But although makeup is fun, the reality of what It can do, and what it makes us compare ourselves too, particularly on social media can be so damaging. I hope that when you see my photos of my makeup looks you can see the photos of me not wearing makeup and know that’s what I look like 90% of the time.
I constantly look at models, makeup artists and famous social media stars and wonder how they look so good, why can’t I look like that? WHY don’t I look like that?
Please know, true beauty is on the inside, as cliche as that is. Be kind to yourself, have fun with makeup and being healthy. Don’t compare yourself to models and superstars, it will leave you feeling not good enough. But you ARE good enough.
God made you perfect the way you are.
If you feel you are getting down, or really sad more than often, please reach out and get help. Remember you are loved and beautiful.